tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7081163247094703505.post3118295031147359768..comments2023-04-07T06:23:59.516-04:00Comments on Shades of Grey: Purim Related Date PonderingsShades of Greyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02733139852424935591noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7081163247094703505.post-91230854632796573372011-03-18T18:07:09.300-04:002011-03-18T18:07:09.300-04:00I spent time with my fiance on Purim, about a day ...I spent time with my fiance on Purim, about a day after we became a couple, but it wasn't precisely a date. But we weren't dating shidduch-style, so I don't know how to apply our example.Maya Resnikoffhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00251303621825787312noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7081163247094703505.post-90685424278700634402011-03-17T23:35:03.301-04:002011-03-17T23:35:03.301-04:00As a woman, I personally would get a kick out of a...As a woman, I personally would get a kick out of a guy showing up in Purim facial hair. But from the guy's perspective it probably isn't a great idea. <br /><br />I once worked with a guy who grew a mustache for Halloween. I don't know what his costume was, but it must have been scary, because he looked like a cowboy gangster. And that was in his workday button-down. <br /><br /> He taught me how much of a difference facial hair can make in one's appearance. So if you look awful in muttonchops, don't wear 'em on a date. If you're growing muttonchops for a Wolverine costume, <i>definitely</i> don't tell her that. <br /><br />Agree with Sefardi Gal about Purim dates, though: only if you're far enough along that it matters.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7081163247094703505.post-26739884829103267522011-03-17T18:14:00.423-04:002011-03-17T18:14:00.423-04:00Stemming from going all out for every female date,...Stemming from going all out for every female date, I think it's on the selfish side to ask your date if it's acceptable to show up less than pristine just because you need the facial hair to complete a costume. I wouldn't request this. Funny, because it happens to be that this year, I am uncharacteristically using my facial hair to do something ridiculous.<br /><br />In support, imagine if the female called you and asked if it was acceptable if she didn't use electrolysis or laser on her facial hair, or shave her legs, or whatever. Not cool. Not entirely comparable, but it's along the same lines of looking pristine (unless the female goes for the guy's unkempt or rugged look).<br /><br />As far as purim dating, I don't see how I'd do this as my purim is very hectic in the beginning and middle, and then I am eating a long seudah with my family well into the night. Further, to me purim is a yom tov and it would just seem out of spirit and weird to date on a yom tov. (To be candid, I'd date on chol hamoed, so go figure.)<br /><br />With regards to your date seeing your behavior on purim, I do not recommend this if the relationship is in the "superficial" stage. (To be safe, call this stage the first 10 dates.) This is because your date has to know you in order to consider your purim behavior in context. Without that personal understanding, your date may take things the wrong way or be turned off.<br /><br />However, if the date has egressed from the initial stages and is more serious/serious, then I think it's a great idea for the female to see the male's behavor because it can tell you a lot about the person (and vice versa if the female is the party animal!). This observation, though, is not dispositive for the relationship.<br /><br />Yet, one does not need purim for this experiment. One only need go to, i.e., a jazz club without foisting an alcoholic beverage on a date. If the date orders alcohol on his/her own volition then wait for things to get interesting. Personally, I would only feel comfortable ordering alcohol if I knew my date was the type to order it as well or if the relationship was more than superficial.<br /><br />Indeed, this happened to me when my date ordered beer, and being a lightweight, I did not wait long before things became interesting. I learned a lot more about her than if we'd have gone to, i.e., the circle line!<br /><br />As an aside, shades, the first wolverine costume is excellent! Of course, you have to be thin and have the muscles to pull it off.<br /><br />So,where can I get one?<br /><br />:)lawschooldrunkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06981455538460795016noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7081163247094703505.post-4349896537507261482011-03-17T14:39:19.990-04:002011-03-17T14:39:19.990-04:00I wouldn't want to go on a first date with som...I wouldn't want to go on a first date with somebody who's wearing a ridiculous costume or has odd shaped facial hair.<br />Also, no first dates on Purim or post-Purim.<br /><br />If I was in a serious relationship, then I'd definitely be open to both options :DSefardi Galhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03041724538794932296noreply@blogger.com