In this week’s parsha, Yaakov finally has his face-to-face confrontation
with his elder brother Esav, bringing to the fore two conflicting lifestyles
and weltanschauungs. Yaakov has lived with their trickster Uncle Lavan for over
20 years, earning his living as a shepherd and raising his family, whereas Esav
has spent his time hunting and mastering his martial skills. Esav arrives with
400 armed men ready for battle, while Yaakov has his family and his flocks carefully
arranged to ensure the best escape plan if Esav attacks.
Yaakov, unaware of his brother’s true intentions, and recalling the
broiling anger Esav expressed shortly before he fled to Lavan’s house, attempts
to placate Esav with multiple tributes consisting of choice animals selected
from the flock he raised while working for Lavan. Esav, though possibly
impressed by the gifts, informs Yaakov that they aren’t necessary,
“'I have much; my brother, let that which
you have remain yours,’” (Bereishis 33:9). In short, Esav is plenty wealthy enough as it is. He has
a lot of stuff, and has no need to accept Yaakov’s tribute.
Yaakov, however, insists that Esav take
the animals, and even pleads with him to do so, saying, “‘…Please take the gift
I brought to you; because G-d has been gracious with me, and because I have
everything,’” (33:11). Only after Yaakov strongly urges Esav to accept the
gifts does Esav acquiesce and take possession of the animals.
Many commentators, including Rashi, point
out the nuance of language in the two brothers’ claims regarding their personal
possessions. Each exemplifies a different perspective with regard to material
possessions and happiness in life.
Esav represents the ever typical avaricious
person constantly looking to obtain more possessions. As such, he remarks that
he “has much.” He owns many things, including many animals. Sure he could
always use more, but he doesn’t need his brother’s gift at the present time. The
Midrash (I can't find the source, help anyone?) comments that Esav actually did desire Yaakov’s animals, but he gave
the pretense of refusal in order to present an air of humility which he did not
actually possess. Thus, after Yaakov firmly and genuinely insists that Esav
accept the animals, Esav “gives in,” in appearances alone, and takes the
tribute he had coveted the entire time.
Yaakov, by stark contrast, states that “I have everything” and
attributes Hashem as the source of his wealth by proclaiming “because G-d has
been gracious with me.”
Yaakov is a model example of Ben Zoma’s opinion as found in Pirkei Avos
4:1, where Ben Zoma describes several ideals of human behavior and perspective,
among which is the famous dictum, “Who
is rich? One who is happy with his portion.” Yaakov understands that whatever
he has been given is from G-d, and whatever material possessions he now owns
are the totality of the things he needs. With that attitude, he really does
have everything.
Related to that Mishna in Pirkei Avos, there is a Gemara in the tractate
of Shabbos on daf 25B where several sages give their own views on who is
considered to be wealthy,
“Our Sages taught: Who is
wealthy? He whose soul is pleased by his wealth: this is Rabbi Meir's view… R.
Tarfon said: He who possesses a hundred vineyards, a hundred fields and a
hundred slaves working in them. Rabbi Akiba said: He who has a wife whose
actions are pleasant. Rabbi Yossi said: He who has a bathroom
near his table.”
Rashi comments that Rabbi Meir’s view,
that a wealthy person is one “whose soul is pleased by his wealth,” is the very
same approach as Ben Zoma in Pirkei Avos, “one who is happy with what he has,”
regardless if he owns much or little.
However, wow do we explain the other three
opinions, which make reference to far more specific things that may be
unattainable for most, such has owning 100 vineyards, 100 fields and 100
slaves, or things that seem somewhat trivial such as having a bathroom near
one’s table?
Rabbi Adin Steinzaltz, in his commentary
on this Gemara, notes that these scholars are speaking about their own personal
experiences. Rabbi Tarfon was actually rather wealthy, and spoke about owning
many vineyards, fields and slaves. Rabbi Akiva on the other hand, had very
meager possessions, but his wife Rachel was a very righteous woman who
encouraged him in his studies so that he could become the great Torah sage we
now know. Thus, his happiness was manifested in his wonderful, supportive wife.
Rabbi Yossi suffered from a terrible intestinal disease, and thus in his eyes
wealth came in the form of owning one’s own bathroom that was nearby and easy
to access.
As we see, each of these sages embodied
the words said by Ben Zoma and Rabbi Meir. Each was happy with what he had,
whether that was a lot (Rabbi Tarfon), a little (Rabbi Akiva) or even what one
possessed amidst physical suffering (Rabbi Yossi). They defined wealth from
their individual experiences; being wealthy was whatever each of them owned and
benefitted from. To them, what they had was truly everything they needed, just
as Yaakov expressed to Esav.
Indeed, we can all learn a great lesson
from these sages and our forefather Yaakov. There is no standard for what it
means to be wealthy. There is no reason to play the game of keeping up with the
Cohen’s, being envious of a neighbor’s car, house, or other material possessions.
Whatever we have is meant to be ours, and Hashem wants us to be happy with the
things that we possess. He wants us to be happy because what we have is what He
has chosen to give us. As the verse states in Koheles in two different places
(3:13 and 5:18, quoted here) “Every man also to
whom G-d has given riches and wealth, and has given him the ability to eat from
it, and to take his portion, and to be happy in his work - this is the gift of
G-d.” Being
happy with what we have, and recognizing that we have the possessions we own
because Hashem wants us to have them and enjoy them to their fullest is one of
the greatest gifts G-d can give us.
Think about one major thing in your life that is important to you. Perhaps it's a car that works properly and infrequently breaks down. A house/apartment with a price or rent you can afford so that you have a place to live. An inhaler for those with asthma, which allows them to have relief from their symptoms. Even something such as a decongestant pill that allows you to breathe better through your nose (like me). Maybe your spouse, and all the wonderful things he/she does for you and means to you. Reflect on that one thing, appreciate how it makes you a wealthier person. Then, expand that sense of appreciation to the many other things in life we've been given.
Let us recognize and appreciate that
Hashem bestows material possessions upon us, that we are blessed with the
ability to use and enjoy them, and to be truly happy – and wealthy – with all
the gifts that G-d gives us.
