So Plastic Surgery DOES = Shidduchim?

And here I thought we (the readers and I) had concluded that the issue was moot after I wrote a post based on The Grogger's video, "Jewcan Sam."

Then there was the intensely controversial that was published in the Jewish Press right around Purim by Yitta Halberstam called "Purim and the Tyranny of Beauty: A Plea to Mothers of Girls in Shidduchim." Among the many ridiculous things written in this article, I think her comparison of the extreme beauty pageant of Achashveirosh to modern day Jewish girls is horribly misguided:

"The women of the kingdom who vied for the Queen’s throne were given twelve months to prepare for the beauty pageant – why hadn’t some of the girls at the shidduch event taken a mere half hour?"

Seriously? You want to learn mussar for our daughters from the hedonistic, easily manipulated menuval who was basically complacent with our national destruction? Really?

For a great response to this article, read Rabbi Eliyahu Fink's post.

The plastic surgeon who commissioned the "Jewcan Sam" video, Michael Salzhauer, is actually under investigation by the American Society for Plastic Surgeons for violations of medical ethics in trying to "sell" the idea of plastic surgery.

On top of all that, Dr. Salzhauer now has the gall to offer plastic surgery, pro bono (that's free, for those of us less legal savvy folks) to unfortunate Orthodox Jewish singles who can't get a shidduch because of their looks, based on the recommendations of their shadchanim!

(Link hat-tip to Surfin' the Shidduch Scene. For a complete news coverage of this ongoing sage, see The Huffington Post).

This is SICK.

What is happening to the Jewish community? Instead of working on practical solutions to end the "shidduch crisis" we're focusing on the wrong things and creating more issues than we are solving.

Everyone has their own preference when it comes to physical attractiveness, and I've been to weddings where I wonder what the guy or girl saw in their new spouse in regard to their looks. But who cares what my opinion, or anyone else's is, when the chosson and kallah have found someone they find attractive and look forward to seeing when they wake up each morning?

It seems like in today's chumra-crazy society, we're taking the machlokes between Beis Hillel and Beis Shammai regarding how to praise an "ugly" bride at her wedding (Kesubos 17a) and adding in our own redaction to the Gemara. Whereas Beis Hillel says we should praise the bride as she is seen through her husband's eyes - clearly he finds her to be beautiful - Beis Shammai says we should stick to the truth and not lie about her lack of beauty.

So instead of holding like the position advocated by Beis Hillel, we're now going to make sure we can follow Beis Shammai too, since every "homely" girl out there will be objectively beautiful once she's been "fixed" thanks to Dr. Salzhauer and others, if this practice becomes the norm.

Why are we learning the wrong things from the secular society around us, which preaches and advocates the value of physical beauty above all else, including health and happiness. All this had led to is a dramatic increase in people going under the knife, eating disorders, years and years worth of therapy and doctor visits to correct damage done to women's bodies and minds, and who knows what else!

Where can we go next, as a society, if we don't stop these shenanigans soon? Check back later this week find out....

The Queen You Thought You Knew

I always do my best to make an attempt to prepare myself - mentally, emotionally, and spiritually - for any upcoming Jewish holiday. Typically this involves attending shiurim and reading sefarim on topics related to matters of the chag, and this year I chose to read "The Queen You Thought You Knew: Unmasking Esther's Hidden Story" by Rabbi David Fohrman to get myself into the Purim spirit.

While Rabbi Fohrman's book was released last year, I neglected to add it to my Seforim Sale purchases, and thus read other things. But after hearing positive from Chana at Curious Jew and from other sources, I checked it out and bought it at this year's sale.

Here's a dramatic preview video that was featured on Youtube prior to the book's release:

Pretty cool eh?

Overall, I found the Rabbi Fohrman's approach to be very engaging. His style of writing is not one of a typical work of this sort - a commentary/analysis of the events and workings of Megillas Esther. He speaks to the reader, almost as though he were delivering a lecture instead of composing a written text. Some more academic minded individuals might be put off by this stylistic choice, but I think the majority of regular lay readers will find it interesting and thought-provoking.

I enjoyed his "chiddushim" that expanded the political and socio-cultural aspects of what occurred during the the Purim Story. I had heard some of these ideas before from either the Malbim's commentary on Megillas Esther or in a far more in-depth and mind-blowing fashion that I experienced in Rabbi Hayyim Angel's shiur at YU.

Nevertheless, his insights were novel, fresh, and added another dimension to my appreciation of what is contained in Megillas Esther and Purim - which is what I wanted when I decided to buy and read the book.

My one critique, and it is somewhat substantial, is Rabbi Forhman's emphasis on treating the end portion of this book as a teaser for his next book - a sequel of sorts that will explore a particular element of his analysis in a deeper, broader fashion. What was first a mere footnote on p.134 referencing what will be seen in his forthcoming sequel book, expands into a multi-chapter, cross-Tanach examination of Yehuda/Binyamin relationships and a 4-page epilogue that serves as a "preview" of what will be contained in his promised continuation.

Also, the last page of the book with written text advertises "For exclusive bonus material relating to this book, please visit: www.rabbifohrman.com/queenextras." I attempted to access this material to add to my review, but it turns out the entire website is nonfunctional and merely "coming soon!" I'm not sure if this was supposed to be a further bridge between this book and the next, or merely expanded/cut material that was not in the print version. Either way, it seems like it would be appropriate for Rabbi Forhman to have gotten this material together and made available online almost a year after the initial publication and promise of more.

In the end, I think that "The Queen You Thought You Knew" is a worthwhile read, especially for those interested in understanding the layers of the Purim story. I particularly liked the "Mother Persia" theme that Rabbi Fohrman develops, particularly since I had never heard of it before and it fits so well with the pshat of the text. I wouldn't rank it as more essential than the Malbim's Megillas Esther commentary, which is a must read - but for those who have already read that, those looking for something new and different, and someone who enjoys lecture-style books, "The Queen You Thought You Knew" is certainly worth a look.

For further Purim reading suggestions, check out last year's post.