For the record, when I mentioned way back when I started this blog last September that the first post I added was not the real first post, this is that first post. Enjoy this unreleased blast from not-too-distant past, slightly modified/updated.
With the plethora of dating/shidduchim blogs of there in the world these days, would it make one modicum of sense to make an attempt to set up the frustrated bloggers with one another? Seemingly, (and I could be completely in the wrong here, being somewhat new at this blogging business), it could be a productive venue for matching up those enmeshed in their personal shidduch crises who have been inspired to write about their musings and dating adventures/failures.
There has to be some other positive benefit to this whole venting process other than distanced socializing with others experiencing similar woes. True, there is a significant psychological benefit to realizing that you aren’t alone in still being single - whether artificially concerned while in the early to mid 20’s or realistically worried in the 30’s or older. There have been precedents of bloggers getting married (see here and here) and bloggers even getting engaged/married to readers (see here). So why not try and make an official sort of system?
True, there is that creepy element of someone following your postings learning a lot about you, not just personally but intellectually and hashkafically in the process of rapidly and excitedly consuming every sentence you release into the immortal World Wide Web. But it’s entirely your decision to participate in this public forum, for whatever reason has spurred your inspirational muse to start typing away and sharing your mind with the world at large. I’m not trying to point a finger of blame at anyone, but try to understand the underlying point here.
Think about the process of reading several years’ worth of posts, and being given the ability to see how the thoughts and feelings of a person, whom you’ve never met (in most cases), develop and mature. I know people who kept regular journals/blogs during their year(s) in Israel. It is rather interesting to follow the development of their person hashkafic journey as they studied and grew in their understanding and appreciation of Judaism. To be a witness to the evolution of their unique approach to Avodas HaShem is certainly an opportunity that most people don’t get to see on a date, or two, or three. The same applies to a backlog of posts going back a few years.
True, not everyone really reveals the entirety of their personality and mindset on their blog, unless they are totally public about their identity, and even then they don’t tell the readers everything. Nevertheless, unless the blogger has been lying through his/her teeth since day one, there is probably some decent picture of who they are and what type of guy/girl they are looking for that can be pieced together amid the mosaic of little crumbs found throughout their blog.
What I’m proposing is some sort of program wherein married bloggers take charge of helping/directing their still-single-blogger-brethren. They would have access to profiles of those participating, and would share information between the two interested parties until a decision is made to go out, and then they would subsequently serve as the shadchan/go-between.
The biggest problem with this is that it will, to a degree, eliminate anonymity among bloggers. I do think that the bloggers themselves are honorable enough to maintain the secret of who’s who, in order to maintain their own private identity. Perhaps this could somehow be arranged via a terms of service contract of sort that will entail punishing violators of this policy of secrecy with revelation of their own identity on other’s blogs? I’d hate for such petty things to occur, but I think the mere threat itself would be enough to deter most people from even contemplating that betrayal of trust. I guess there would have to be some other system for public bloggers… though there don’t seem to be too many of those who are unmarried at any rate…
I’ve been sent suggestions from readers before, though I’ve either been busy and unable to follow up, or plainly saw that the suggestion wasn’t quite going to work. This project would be a more concentrated effort instead of random ideas thrown out there by someone who has read two posts on a specific blog. If one blogger is interested in another, why not make it possible for them to potentially go out?
So what do the readers and other bloggers think?