Shades of Grey has been requesting now for a long time (even before we were engaged) that I make an appearance and when reading this post I figured it was a good opportunity. Even though this post was written from a husband’s perspective and Shades of Grey wrote that “the un-thanked wife/unappreciative husband model is by far the more common one,” nonetheless my husband is an amazing, wonderful, caring husband who equally deserves thanks from his wife. Yes, in a marriage the mundane things in life need to be taken care; the garbage and recycling need to be taken out, the dishes have to be done, dinner has to be prepared and cooked, the laundry has to be done, the floors have to be washed and the toilet has to be scrubbed, yet there is much more to a successful marriage. Having food to eat and a clean bed to sleep in won’t ensure a happy fulfilling marriage. So even though a wife may be more responsible in some households for all these day to day jobs, that doesn’t mean that a husband should hear the words “thank you” any less throughout the day than the wife hears.
There are a myriad of little things that Shades of Grey does on a daily basis that I owe him thanks for. Having a husband who thinks the world of you, who appreciates both the good and the bad in you, who loves you for who you are, who is your number one supporter in life and who is there to hold your hand when life gets tough (especially when you’re first getting used to married life and all that it entails), and who is constantly thinking about how he can help you and what he can do for you, is the best feeling in the world and for that he deserves to hear “thank you” 24/7.
Being a wife may not be the easiest thing in life…there are plenty of nights when I’d rather not come home from a busy day at school and cook dinner and wish that it would magically appear on the table for use. But it is at these times that I take a step back and tell myself to remember all the little things that Shades of Grey has done for me during the day that I am thankful for. Whether it was taking out the garbage from last night, texting my during the day to see how I’m doing, buying groceries for dinner so they’re in the house by the time I come home, buying me flowers for Shabbos even on a rushed Friday Erev Shabbos afternoon, picking up the dry cleaning, mailing thank you notes for me, buying me a bag of my favorite candy just because he saw it and thought of me, or cleaning the dishes after dinner so I could relax…there are so many things during the day that he does that I am thankful for.
Even if there wasn’t any specific act that he did for me during the day (although I can’t think of one day that that happened since we were married) simply knowing that he is my husband and how much he loves and supports me is enough to thank him for. For the mere fact of knowing that despite whatever challenges Hashem may give us, I have a life partner to face them with who will stand by my side deserves a thank you. So to all the wives out there…even though it may seem that we are more in charge of the household things, our husbands really do a lot for us and equally deserve to hear “thank you.” Thank them for going through life with you, for laughing in the good times and giving you a shoulder to cry on when life gets tough, for thinking the world of you, and doing whatever they can to make you feel loved and respected.
So in conclusion: Thank you, SoG for all that you do and have done for me since the first day we met!
- Another Shade of Grey