SternGrad's recent post about the 3 things she wishes she knew before she starting dating made me recall a mashul that a married friend of mine once told me.
I think my friend best summed in up in a mashul she heard from a rebbe once. She related it to me in the midst of trying to set up a shidduch I was very interested in, but ended up not working out.
Basically, dating and getting married is like getting into a taxi cab. There are two ways to go about getting to your destination. 1) Be a backseat driver, and try to tell the cabbie what to do every step of the trip - exactly where to turn, when to stop, etc. You will probably get to where you're going, but it will be a very frustrating experience. 2) You can tell the driver your end destination, and let him pick the route - in short, you trust his expertise to get you where you're going. In the end, you'll make it, and with far less stress on your nerves than trying to constantly direct him.
So too with shidduchim. You can try to arrange every situation to your advantage, getting the "right" shadchan, pursuing the one "right" suggestion ad nauseum, getting the "right" look, etc. Or you can be who you truly are, do you what you need to do, but don't commandeer the situation at every opportunity. In the end, G-d, the ultimate "taxi driver" gets you where you need to go, and who you need to be with.
And as always, don't forget to tip the Driver...