Friday, June 25, 2010

HaShem: The Ultimate Cabbie

SternGrad's recent post about the 3 things she wishes she knew before she starting dating made me recall a mashul that a married friend of mine once told me.

I think my friend best summed in up in a mashul she heard from a rebbe once. She related it to me in the midst of trying to set up a shidduch I was very interested in, but ended up not working out.

Basically, dating and getting married is like getting into a taxi cab. There are two ways to go about getting to your destination. 1) Be a backseat driver, and try to tell the cabbie what to do every step of the trip - exactly where to turn, when to stop, etc. You will probably get to where you're going, but it will be a very frustrating experience. 2) You can tell the driver your end destination, and let him pick the route - in short, you trust his expertise to get you where you're going. In the end, you'll make it, and with far less stress on your nerves than trying to constantly direct him.

So too with shidduchim. You can try to arrange every situation to your advantage, getting the "right" shadchan, pursuing the one "right" suggestion ad nauseum, getting the "right" look, etc. Or you can be who you truly are, do you what you need to do, but don't commandeer the situation at every opportunity. In the end, G-d, the ultimate "taxi driver" gets you where you need to go, and who you need to be with.

And as always, don't forget to tip the Driver...


  1. Thanks for mentioning my post! This is a great mashal. Just something to add to it- Hashem is the ultimate taxi driver in that He doesn't take you on long crazy routes just to rip you off and make you pay more for His own benefit, if Hashem takes you in one way and you think a different way is better, it's because He knows that it's ultimately the best way to go. I know when I'm in the backseat with one of my siblings I'm an awful backseat driver because I don't trust them at all and so I feel the need to speak up if I feel like we're going to crash. But unlike other drivers, Hashem is deserving of our trust because He has absolute control.

  2. This is a nice mashal! I think it applies to how we deal with life in general, not just dating...


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