Current Trends Predicted In The Gemara?

After reading numerous stories of rabbinical figures, judges, or otherwise people known as community leaders failing to be truthful, judge truthfully, or deliberately concealing the truth, such as this recent post by Rabbi Maryles on Emes Ve-Emunah, I was shocked to learn several sections of Gemara in today's Daf Yomi (Shabbos 139) that seem to talk about the results of these actions we Jews have brought upon ourselves. The translation has been modified slightly per that found in the Koren Talmud Bavli.

It was taught. R. Jose b. Elisha said: If you see a generation overwhelmed by many troubles, go forth and examine the judges of Israel, for all retribution that comes to the world comes only on account of the Judges of Israel, as it is said, "Please hear this, heads of the house of Jacob, and officers of the house of Israel, that abhor justice, and pervert all equity. They build up Zion with blood and Jerusalem with iniquity. The heads thereof judge for reward, and the priests thereof teach for hire, and the prophets thereof divine for money; yet will they lean upon the Lord, etc."

Shortly after that, the Gemara continues:

And the Holy One, blessed be He, will not cause His Divine presence to rest upon Israel until the wicked judges and officers cease out of Israel, for it is said, "And I will turn My hand upon you, and thoroughly purge away your dross, and will take away all your tin. And I will restore your judges as at the first, and your counselors as at the beginning, etc."

Lastly, interspersed with Rabbi Steinzaltz' commentary (p.319) in bold italics.

R. Melai said in the name of R. Eleazar son of R. Simeon: What is meant by the verse, "The Lord has broken the staff of the wicked, the rod of the rulers?"  'The Lord hath broken the staff of the wicked' refers to the judges who become a staff for their attendants;  

The attendants abuse people, and the judges provide the attendants with legal backing and moral support.

'the rod of the rulers' refers to the Torah scholars in the families of the judges. 

These Torah scholars assist their relatives, the judges, conceal their faults.

Mar Zutra said: This refers to the scholars who teach the laws of the public to ignorant judges.

They teach ignorant judges just enough Torah and modes of conduct to prevent the people from realizing how ignorant they are, enabling them to maintain their positions.

I think these sections speak all too clearly about the frightening, increasingly prevalent problem of individuals and groups who are meant to be, or insist they are, halachic authorities and then abuse the power they have gathered or proclaimed upon themselves. 

We have many troubles, one of the most significant is child abuse, which seems to be quite a plague in communities where this sort of irresponsible judgments and abuse of communal power take place on a regular basis.

We have seen judge's attendants - the so-called askanim of gedolim cause inordinate amounts of trouble for people such as Rabbi Natan Slifkin, Lipa Schmeltzer, and others undeservedly, creating a huge public ruckus that helps no one in the end.

And we wonder why the Beis Hamikdash hasn't been rebuilt - the Gemara plainly says that HaShem won't rest His divine presence on us until these wicked judges and officers cease to exist among us.

I wonder if the thousands of others out there learning Daf Yomi took a moment to consider these passages with any serious thought and self introspection?

Smuggling Seed To Sow A Terrorist Future

After Shabbos was over, I turned my phone on and checked up on the news in the world. I came across this article on CNN.com called "Sperm smuggling alleged at terror prison." As soon as I began reading it, I was horrified, dismayed, and angry.

Wives of convicted (and often self-confessed and proud) Palestinian terrorists serving life or near-life sentences have arranged their incarcerated husbands' sperm to be smuggled out of the prison so that they can conceive children. They are denied conjugal visits, whereas Israeli prisoners are allowed such visits from their wives - though the only specific Israeli prisoner referenced was the assassin of Yitzchak Rabin.

It isn't fair, they say, to be denied the right to be with their husbands, who can then sire more children, all to prevent rumors being spread that they are unfaithful to their jailed husbands, or that their husbands may leave them for still-fertile women if their jail sentences last beyond the women's menopause.

I think the whole thing is utterly ridiculous.

Why, you ask? Because who are these children going to become, and how will they be brought up?

"You're father is a brave soldier, fighting for our freedom, he heroically murdered dozens of Jewish men, women, and children who all stole our homeland from us."

"You're going to grow up just like him!"

"Isn't it not fair that your dear father is still stuck in prison for doing the great thing that he did for us? We should be celebrating with him right now, not mourning is absence!"

This is what will happen to these poor, innocent children. They'll be raised and indoctrinated with hate, fear and prejudice. They'll be encouraged to take more life in murderous plots, just like their fathers did. The very same women who in all likelihood supported, encouraged, and cheered on the fathers who are sitting in jail will be the same women, along with other relatives, who will raise these children to hate Israel, despise Jews, and desire to kill and murder more people, in revenge for their fathers' mistreatment or just because it's the right thing to do.

I don't believe for a second that this is not the unspoken ulterior motive. If these women were already successful in helping groom their husbands to become terrorists, I have no doubt they will attempt to do so, using their husbands' absence as a motivational factor.

True, I wonder about why someone such as Yitzchak Rabin's assassin was allowed conjugal visits - shouldn't all murderers be deprived in this fashion as part of the punishment they are receiving in jail?

Part of me says yes, they should. Someone who takes another's life without just cause should lose privileges, just as they stole everything from the person(s) they killed.

However, the one difference I can see between the two criminals is that Rabin's assassin was a one-time wack job. He didn't grow up in a culture that celebrated and taught murder of other people as a cherished life value. He wasn't indoctrinated from preschool with lies and propaganda, all with the intention of turning him into a celebrated killer and martyr.

In all likelihood, as someone who became convinced of his crazy plan, he never confided in his wife or any relatives or associates. He deserves to be punished, rightly so, but his wife, innocent of all wrongdoing should not. She suffers enough for the crime that was thrust upon her and shattered her life in a most unexpected, and unwelcome fashion.

The women who are pleading their case about being denied conjugal visits with their terrorist husbands in jail were in all likelihood, part and parcel of the lifestyle that led their husbands to shed Jewish blood. They knew what their husbands intended to do, probably knew it was possible they'd be killed in the bombings they planned, or shot by the IDF defending innocent civilians, or caught and tried for their disgusting crimes. They don't feel an ounce of remorse for the lives lost by their husbands' actions, and I bet they'd encourage their husbands to do it again, given the chance to take more innocent Jewish lives. They educate their children to call their fathers a hero for what they did, to grow up to be just like them and do such courageous things like they did.

And that's why they don't deserve to have conjugal visits, or to bring more children into this world with their convicted terrorist husbands. They too, deserve to be punished, in their own way, for encouraging and supporting acts of terror and murder, for they are accomplices to the murders their husbands committed. There may not be enough evidence to convict these wives in a court of law, but I think this denial of access to their husbands' semen and thus more children from them, is a just enough punishment. Their continued loyalty and devotion to men who willingly and happily spilled innocent blood of men, women, and children who had done no wrong, is a testament to their guilt and reason enough to be denied conjugal visits.

I sincerely hope that these alleged claims are false, and that the Israeli courts do not give in to their ridiculous demands.

It Seems Men And Women Can't Really Be Just Friends After All

Last January, I wrote about a video that was making the rounds on Youtube that consisted of a somewhat unscientific series of interviews that indicated opposite-gender relationships aren't as platonic as most people (especially women) would think.

Now, Scientific American has written an article describing an actual study conducted that heavily indicates that men and women have very different perspectives on how these relationships function, including whether opportunities for romance exist, and if there is some level of physical attraction or not.

In short, men statistically look for the possibility of furthering the relationship romantically, tend to be far more physically attracted to their female friends, and also make the often unsupported assumption that the attraction is mutual. Women are far better at maintaining the viewpoint of keeping things strictly friendly as well as being able to be close friends with someone they are admittedly not attracted to.

She's just laughing, but what is HE thinking about? And where is he looking, mmm?
Image source: http://www.sodahead.com/fun/can-guys-and-gals-ever-be-just-friends/question-2833827/

From my personal experience, as I mentioned in my earlier post - this seems to be very representative of what went on in my own head when I was single and had female friends during high school and even during my time at YU. Aside from the base-level physical attraction that was more likely than not always there, getting to know a girl - both in dating and in these friendships - often creates an even greater level of attraction that transcends the baser physical element. Thus, the closer I became in the friendship, the more attracted I was, and the physical attraction also was magnified.

I think this is simply how guys, on the majority (since there are always exceptions) seem to function.

I'm not here to preach about the evils of being friends with someone of the opposite gender, since I myself greatly benefited from such friendships at times in my life when I needed the advice, support, or encouragement that I felt only a female friend could provide (and none of those things have to do with anything physical whatsoever). I was always one who felt, and probably was, more mature than the majority of my male peers, and I tended to mentally and emotionally connect more to either adults or the girls my age who were probably farther along in their brain development than the guys.

At any rate, I do think this study should give some food for thought for those who are fairly haphazard with their opposite gender friendships. Certainly girls should be aware of the potential issue of their guy friend feeling attracted, and if the feeling isn't mutual, to not give any indication otherwise. Guys should also be more mindful not to have an agenda with such friendships, nor believe that any feelings of attraction are automatically shared by both parties.

Thoughts, anyone?

Craigslist Shabbat Dinner Invite = Soulmate Dinner Date?

I'm a bit flabbergasted that 7 single Jewish guys even thought of doing this, but I have to say it's a brilliant idea and one that, with tweaking, could be a fun, new way for singles to meet people.

The title of the Huffington Post article is: Seven Single Jewish Males Looking To Host Seven Single Females For Shabbat Dinner: D.C. Craigslist Ad Garners International Response.

Basically, the 7 guys posted on Craigslist that they want to put together a Friday night meal for 14, and invited any interested single women to contact that for the opportunity to be one of their guests. Surprisingly, they got a TON of responses, and were able to successfully confirm a select 7 eligible women will join them for dinner this Friday night.

While one of the men in the story, using the alias David Ben-Gurion, stated that they aren't necessarily looking at this dinner event "as a means to get married." But, he later goes on to mention that there will be future such Friday night Shabbat dinners for the women who replied to their ad but were not selected, then remarks, "Though if all goes as planned, it may only be six of us next time." Seems like marriage is definitely on their minds, even if not completely in an overt fashion.

Using such an approach to meet women is very interesting - and would take some serious intestinal fortitude on the part of the guys and girls involved. This is a far step beyond even the annual YU Connect singles Shabbatonim or other such meet and greet events. 

Would any of the single female readers out there be interested in such a unique invitation - assuming everything checked out once communication between the parties began and the gentlemen in question are indeed gentlemen without any cause for concern for the women's safety? 

Maybe this sort of thing should be looked into as a potential YU/Stern related dating event?

Judging Yourself While Dating

Looking Within

This post was born from some ruminations in my head about people going out with others who veer away from their personal standard of "normal," and how to come to terms with such differences/conflicts/complications.

Case in point - you've always been an omnivore, enjoying both meat and dairy (as well as vegetables) as part of your diet for 20-something years, and suddenly you find yourself on a date, or perhaps in an even a more serious relationship, with an individual who will not, per his/her beliefs, or cannot, per his/her biological constitution, eat the same foods you've always enjoyed at mealtime. Whether he/she does not eat meat at all, red meat, dairy or some other comestible you've come to define as a staple of your regular diet, you are now presented with a conflict of interests.

Does this person mean enough to me, given the rest of his/her personality, middos, dreams, desires, needs, etc, that I can handle this deviation from my norm?

Perhaps you've been one of the fortunate individuals who has always known what it means to have a loving home with two married parents, and the biological parents of this person sitting across the table from you haven't lived in the same home since your date was 5, or fought like cats and dogs until their bitter divorce a few years ago. This clearly has had some impact on your date, molded the way he/she has grown and developed, shaped his/her perspectives in ways you probably can't begin to comprehend.

Does this worry you, frighten you? Do you think about those statistics you read about regarding children from divorced parents being more likely to become divorced themselves?

These are simply two examples, among countless others, which can create mind-twisting dilemmas for daters.

The key to navigating these "deviations" from the norm - or rather, your norm - is to stop and turn inward. Your date's norm is clearly different from your own, and by the standard with which you were raised and have experienced life, they may be lacking or even seemingly "problematic" in some form, based on your own experience.

But that's not the way to determine if he/she can be a worthwhile spouse.

The key is to remain objective about your date, and his/her differences - assuming he/she is otherwise healthy, not plagued by harmful emotional imbalance or utterly unrealistic expectations that border on impossible and perhaps dangerous fantasy - and to judge yourself, not your date.

Hopefully, your date will be forthcoming, given the appropriate timing and length of the courtship, with all the ins and outs about him/her, including things that may not be viewed in such a positive light. Real marriage consideration requires knowing the whole picture, warts and all, and determining if YOU can live with this other reality as part of your own.

It is not for us to judge someone who comes from a broken home, automatically labeling him/her as damaged goods. They are what they are, and that is factual. Hopefully, he/she has learned to be resilient and grown from potentially negative experiences, rather than allow them to remain as destructive or caustic influences in his/her life - regardless if the issue or persons involved have become entirely resolved. One can live with a disruptive parental figure by placing the appropriate boundaries and developing healthy emotional reactions that maintain one's own sense of well-being, notwithstanding the parent's anger or personal imbalance. Such a person can also learn from positive parenting role models, and through self-introspection, develop a form of beneficial parenting that he/she would like to embody for his/her own future children, distinct from what was seen during his/her childhood and being actively cognizant not to fall to the trap of the modes of parenting he/she experienced.

What one needs to do as a dater is to look within. Given the reality of the person sitting across from me, can I acknowledge, accept, adapt and live with the challenges, difficulties, and "abnormalities" that are being presented to me, and will be a part of my future life should I choose to marry this person?

The decision regarding "can I handle this?" should not negatively impact on your view of your date. No one is perfect, and we are mandated to judge everyone favorably.

If you end up deciding your date is not appropriate for you, based on your self introspection, your choice shouldn't hinder your ability to suggest this person to others you may know - and allow them to evaluate the potential of their match with your former date without preconceived negative impressions that you may want to pass along.

Judging yourself, rather than your date is not an easy thing to do. But it's essential to figuring out the marriage potential of the relationship. You can't expect a person to change or willingly alter their habits and attitudes to match your own to prevent conflict. Take into consideration who they are and what they're about, and see how well it fits you and your ability to act in consonance with another person as a life partner.

Part 2 coming soon.

Why Did Aharon, Not Moshe, Turn The Staff Into A Serpent?

In this week's Parsha, Aharon, not Moshe performs the first 3 of the 10 plagues, Blood, Frogs, and Lice.

Rashi explains that the reason for this is because Moshe owes a debt of gratitude to the Nile River (which would turn to blood and from where the frogs would appear) which sheltered his floating cradle as a baby, and to the sands of Egypt for concealing the body of the Egyptian he had killed before he ran away to Midian to escape the wrath of Pharaoh.

However, there is another miracle performed before these 3 that Aharon, not Moshe, also performs: turning his staff into a tanin (serpent, snake, some say a kind of fish) in front of Pharaoh.

Why didn't Moshe perform this miracle? He had already done it once by the episode of the burning bush, so its performance does not seem to have any sort of association with disrespect like the first 3 plagues.

The only idea that came to me was that when Moshe turned his staff into a nachash (snake), "Moses fled from before it," (Shemos 4:3). Perhaps HaShem took this into account and thus had Aharon perform the miracle this time.

The Kli Yakar is the only perush I have been able to find that comments on this particular notion. He first clarifies that the tanin is a larger, more dangerous version of a nachash. He then goes on to explain via a series of symbolic literary comparisons from various psukim in Tanach of Pharaoh and Egypt to different animals and the tanin being more powerful and able to subdue both Pharaoh and Egypt. Moshe had demonstrated already that he was a person of character who could "take on" Pharaoh, but Aharon had not as of yet. Therefore, Aharon, who was working with Moshe (and was about to perform the first 3 plagues) had to also have a display of might that showed he was also able to stand up to Pharaoh.

While I understand the Kli Yakar's explanation, I wonder if there is anyone else out there who may have a more pshat-based interpretation. If you've heard or seen anything, please post in the comments.

Have a great Shabbos!

Marry Jewish: Our Future Is In Your Hands.

Today I read an op-ed piece on The Jewish Daily Forward by Jane Eisner titled "For 2013, A Marriage Agenda," thanks to a link on Hirhurim's news postings.

Eisner's piece is thoughtful, and thought provoking, especially for those of us who know, are friends with, or perhaps related to Jews who are not particularly observant and are rather free-spirited when it comes to who they date and who they would consider marrying.

As I mentioned at the end of my post The Shanda of "Chrismukkah," I believe that intermarriage is perhaps the worst thing an individual Jew can do nowadays, because he or she is actively choosing to betray his or her own people, friends, family, and parents.

Eisner cites the statistics of later marriage period, and thus fewer marriages and fewer births, which combine with a 1/3 to 1/2 of those unions being intermarriage, are set to decimate (and are decimating) the non-Orthodox Jewish population.

While some people in various circles of our Torah Observant populace might turn their nose up and announce that our less observant brethren are getting just what they deserve - and as soon as they're all gone the "frum" people will be the only ones left to define and embody Judaism - I say we have to stop this madness before so many unique, precious people are lost to the sands of time.

One particular paragraph in Eisner's piece struck me:

But this acceptance — some call it assimilation — comes at a price we are not willing to acknowledge, which I believe endangers the future of egalitarian, progressive American Judaism. And we don’t know what to do. Parents do not want to alienate their children with what may seem like outdated prejudices, while religious authorities, such as they are, are reluctant to judge for fear of rejection. We hope that those coming into our community will compensate for all who leave, but they won’t. We pour money into free 10-day trips to Israel with the not-so-hidden agenda of promoting inmarriage, and they do a little. But such “success” comes at a huge monetary cost, with the added risk of tying Jewishness only to Israel — hardly a winning argument in today’s political environment.

Without expressly admitting it, I think this indicates who the primary people at fault are: the parents.

For years, in personal communication with people in my hometown community and elsewhere, I've been decrying how much the parents have negated their responsibility for instilling a firm sense of Jewish identity in their children. This happens in Orthodox homes as well, Modern and not - and is the reason I strongly encourage high school graduates to find the program in Israel that best suits him or her so that they can forge their own Jewish identity of their choosing - one that will be strong enough to combat the pressures of college, wherever they attend, and guide them in a path of recognition and service of G-d that includes marrying a Jewish spouse.

Parents who still have young children need to open their eyes and realize what impact, or lack thereof, they are having on their kids with regard to establishing and creating their own Jewish identity. Children may not want to be exactly like their parents, hashkafically or otherwise, and that needs to be acceptable, rather than a source of discord that pushes their offspring further away and into such a lack of Jewish observance that they intermarry.

Parents who themselves have been fortunate enough to marry a Jewish spouse need to realize that what made them choose to do so will probably have little to no influence on their children. They don't have the grandparents or parents who were immigrants and instilled the basic need of marrying someone Jewish, regardless of how many mitzvos they did or didn't keep. The more these parents keep their heads in the sand, the more they will come to regret a future heartbreak when their son or daughter brings a non-Jew home to meet the parents and their dreams of Jewish grandchildren go up in flames. Even if a daughter ends up marrying a gentile, that does not create an environment which will be conducive to the growth of a hardy Jewish identity, and those grandchildren, though halachically Jewish, will be that much more likely to care very little about having a Jewish husband or wife - and could view their mother as hypocritical for suggesting otherwise.

For the youth, young adults, and adults out there - we need to educate them. Books like Why Marry Jewish? by Rabbi Doron Kornbluth (who I heard speak when this book was released) explain the need to marry-in without beating people over the head with Jewish guilt or more extreme-minded perspectives that can and do turn people off.

Every Jew out there has a spark within, some call it the Pintele Yid, which can and should be engaged. There is bound to be some topic about Judaism that interests the guy or girl you know that can capture their thoughts and imagination. Even if they don't become complete ba'alei teshuva, as wonderful as that would be, averting the disaster of intermarriage is something that needs to be addressed by every single one of us.

Keep our future Jewish. Date Jewish. Marry Jewish. Raise your children to be proud of their Jewish identity. Make it the bedrock of who they are so that they will always choose to build the rest of their lives by that path.

Let's not forsake any more unfortunate souls... we've lost too many already.

YU-Connects To-Go 5773 - Divrei Torah About Dating and Marriage

After a delay due to hurricane Sandy, the YUConnects along with Yeshiva University's Center for the Jewish Future have published a collection of Divrei Torah and professional insights about dating and marriage that are authored by numerous well-respected Roshei Yeshiva, rabbeim, teachers, doctors and professionals.

I am a big of the To-Go booklets of Divrei Torah, and always make sure a batch gets delivered to our shul. If you're lucky, your congregation will have these available shortly, but if they run out or happened to not have ordered any, all the articles are available online to download for free. 

Here are the various different articles and their authors:

• Divrei Bracha from Rabbi Hershel Schachter
• Rabbi Kenneth Brander - "Foreword"
• Dr. Efrat Sobolofsky - "Introduction"
• Rabbi Michael Taubes - "Is there a Mitzvah to Arrange Shidduchim?"
• Rabbi Zvi Sobolofsky - "Rejoice Beloved Friends"
• Mrs. Mindy Eisenman - "Communication in Relationships in Tanach: A Paradigm for Others"
• Rabbi Chaim Eisenstein - "The Ultimate Connection: Developing the Necessary Tools for a True Lasting Connection in Your Marriage"
• Rabbi Akiva and Chaya Sima Koenigsberg - "Matchmaking Fees and Beyond"
• Rabbi Ari Sytner - "Our Words: Helpful or Hurtful? Ona'at Devarim in the Singles Community"
• Rabbi Dovid Cohen - "Dating or Waiting: When Am I Ready?"
• Dr. Chani Maybruch - "Essentials to Look for in a Spouse"
• Shana Yocheved Schacter, CSW - "Relationships that Work: Introspection and Expectations"
• Rabbi Dr. Jonathan Schwartz - "Seeking Mr./Mrs. "Perfect": Denying Mr./Mrs. "Right""
• Dr. Sara Barris - "Deepening your Relationship: Dating and Beyond"
• Mrs. Marjorie Glatt, J.D. - "Let's Get Practical! Top Tips for Increasing Matches in Your Community"
• Dr. Nicole Schreiber-Agus, Estie Rose & Chani Wiesman Berliant - "Frequently Asked Questions about Genetic Testing"
• Rabbi Dr. Eddie Reichman - "The Mandate of Genetic Testing"
• Dr. Efrat Sobolofsky - "Points to Ponder: Positive Action Items"

Enjoy! I hope the insights contained in these Divrei Torah and articles will inspire daters and shadchanim alike.

The Shanda of "Chrismukkah"

*RANT ALERT*

This article on CNN, which is titled "Celebrating Chrismukkah: Shalom Stockings and Hanukkah Bushes," showcases a deeply troublesome trend that is growing in America, and perhaps elsewhere in the world. Interfaith couples, seemingly more male-Jewish, female-Christian have found a way to circumvent their cognitive dissonance by "blending" their two traditions together into a mish-mash of trees with Jewish stars and other Judaica-related ornaments.

To me, this whole phenomenon is a shanda - or in English, a total embarrassment.

Seriously?! Does any Jewish person in their right mind NOT find this offensive?

In an attempt to cover up and ignore the blatant incompatibility of the two vastly different, contradictory, and historically belligerent (more so in the direction of Christian --> Judaism) religious perspectives, these couples have watered down the essence of their distinct beliefs and mushed them together into an incomprehensible facade of a holiday.

It's a poorly designed artifice that consists of a bright, shiny, and attractive gilded coating that disguises the sheer worthlessness of rot within.

While attending a recent family Chanukah party, I spoke with a female cousin who is married to a Christian man. Their son, now 6-years old, is living a lift of total conflict of identity. His mother and grandmother (his maternal grandfather is no longer living) strongly encourage him to partake in Jewish activities, celebrate the holidays with our family, attend their local Jewish day school, and go to shul on occasion. However, with the lack of a Jewish father figure of any sort, along with contemptuous and contradictory opinions being espoused by his father, the boy doesn't have a source of Jewish instruction like he should at his age.

He is stifled. He has expressed on his own that he desires to come to shul every Shabbos and do other things with his more observant friends and classmates (who have a complete set of Jewish parents), but he is often prevented from doing so either because his father overtly objects, or there simply isn't anyone to guide him, teach him, or accompany him to shul.

My cousin summed it up quite poignantly by admitting with a sigh, "It's actually a very bad thing to marry outside the faith."

I've never heard another intermarried person ever admit that aloud. I hope she somehow figures out to raise her son in an appropriate Jewish way... but for now I weep for the boy.

I have another relative on the other side of the family, this one male, who married a Christian woman, and after many years of marriage, she not only has exerted her domineering influence over their halachically non-Jewish children, but brainwashed this relative into following her whole-heartedly into her world of religious observance. He now detests the rest of us - his Jewish relatives, even those who aren't observant, and doesn't come to any family functions (to which my parents invite everyone, regardless of level of religious observance or marital status), because she has warped him into finding our religious beliefs distasteful. To me, this is a horrifying example of what the Torah tells us; that marrying daughters of other religions will lead us astray after their religion.

To be clear: I have nothing against non-Jewish people. I am more than happy that they celebrate and observe their holidays and beliefs/traditions. They have their role to play in our world, contribute to the growth and productivity of society, have every right to exist, and even merit a portion in the World to Come as long as they keep the 7 Mitzvos of the Bnei Noach. We all exist together b'tzelem Elokim, all fulfilling our distinct jobs in this physical existence.

What irks me to no end are the self-deluding Jewish people (and their significant others) who think they can inter-date and intermarry and end up okay. It simply won't happen. They'll be lost to us, and their children after them will be lost to us.

Our halacha and observances will be subsumed under the general wishy-washy conglomeration that has characterized Christianity from the start, as it absorbed and adopted the multitude of local pagan practices from the peoples it engulfed as it spread around the world.

Lighting a Chanukiah next to a Christmas tree is a complete and utter contradiction and slap-in-the-face to what the Maccabees risked and gave their lives to achieve in recapturing and purifying the Beis Hamikdash. They shed their blood to remove the foreign influences from the central physical manifestation of our connection to G-d, and we light the Chanukiah to remember their sacrifice, bravery, and commitment to Torah and Mitzvos above assimilation and adoption of beliefs incongruent to our own.

The mere fact that these individuals in the CNN article can find meaning in a blended tradition shows how weak and inane their own Judaism is. If you have no foundation, then there is nothing to build on. Even if you do have a foundation - say significant Jewish day school through Bar/Bat Mitzvah age - unless you continue to build on top of that with further Jewish education, all you have is a big cement block embedded in the ground, upon which almost anything can be placed - even if it is contradictory to that which you began life with.

I've seen it happen to several of my own peers who attended the same Orthodox day school as I did, from the 2-year-olds through the 8th grade. It's as though they simply chucked everything they had learned out the window the last time they left the building. High school was a period of freedom and exploration, without any meaningful connection to Judaism, college was no better, and now a few of them have actually intermarried. One, thank G-d, got divorced recently, but another has already had a child with his non-Jewish wife.

All this makes me very frustrated and sad. I wish these wayward Jews would see the error of their ways. This is not a post about kiruv on the whole, but the crossing (no pun intended) of a line that should never, ever be crossed in the first place. In my view, these individuals can be as non-observant as they want to be (though of course being observant of Torah and Mitzvos is the ideal and should be encouraged), but they can't date and marry gentiles. If someone isn't shomer Shabbos and kashrus, but generally still cares about Judaism, even nominally, then their is hope to engage him or her and help them return to the fold. For someone who has made that treacherous decision to choose a life partner who isn't from our people, I don't know what to say or do with him/her other than say I feel betrayed.

They have betrayed their G-d, their people, their families and friends, their parents, and most of all, themselves.

No amount of newfangled, kitschy Chrismukkah traditions will ever make up for that. Fluff remains fluff - utter nonsense - without real, meaningful connection to that which we know to be absolute Truth.

Just A Maccabee, Looking For A Victory, Lifting Up My Eyes To The Sky-y-y-y Above!

I had to share this particular Chanukah parody music video in its own post since a good friend of mine was the driving force behind it and put it all together for San Diego NCSY. It's also a particularly fun song since they've finally used a different secular song as the basis instead of the umpteen "Gangnam Style" or "Some Nights" parodies that are out there.

I present: "Am Yisrael Chai," a parody of Train's "Drive By."



I must say, it's quite catchy and stands out among the other songs out there this year. The flip-book animations are also particularly neat and unique.

Great job guys!