Thursday, May 5, 2011

On A Lighter Note

Having a wife who wears sheitals can be both fun and difficult.

It's amusing how girls often think that once they get married and get their sheitals, they never have to worry about doing their hair ever again, since they can simply just don their fancy new "hair" and look great in under a minute. Of course, as ASoG has mentioned to me on numerous occasions - keeping sheitals looking good takes a lot of work, as much, if not more work than her own hair's upkeep when we were dating. She discovered this little fact to her abject horror shortly after we got married. It's a wonder that she believed the lie for so long and that none of her married friends told her beforehand.

So I guess all you guys out there with wives who exclusively wear bandanas, mitpachot, hats or whatever have one less thing to worry about - or to hear complaints about :-O (just kidding, ASoG).

But sheitals can be hilarious as well.

ASoG just had hers washed and "done" for the second (I think?) time since we got married after they became somewhat frazzled from residing in shoeboxes during a long road trip over the Pesach break. I held both sheital-covered styrofoam heads (with their scary long necks) riding back from the sheital washer/stylist lady while ASoG drove (as an out-of-towner, I'm honestly a bit frightened, and certainly not aggressive enough to drive these dangerous streets in New York). I proceeded to puppeteer the sheital heads into a funny and absurd conversation between themselves and us, along with appropriately bad high-pitched female voices. I don't think I've ever seen ASoG laugh so hard. Thankfully, she was able to maintain her composure behind the wheel.

Anyway, we arrived at our building and I hopped out to put the sheitals back in our apartment before we went to park. I made sure to go slowly and with great caution so as not to mishandle or harm the newly "done" sheitals. Of course, this meant the trip up and down would be atle longer than if I was merely running without anything in my hands. I took the opportunity to be a little creative and pull a prank.

I know some women like to doodle on their sheital heads, adding eyes, scars and facial hair, or so ASoG tells me, but my wife has chosen to keep hers as pristine as possible. An ingenious idea dawned on me - if I can't directly add a mustache to the sheital heads, I may as well attach something that is removable, though appears permanent, and will have the same comedic effect.

Pay close attention, husbands and future husbands, you might want to try this one day.

I quickly ran over to our pile of sticky-note pads, grabbed a black Sharpie and colored over the sticky section at the top of two pages. I then trimmed the black strips into mustache shapes and affixed them to ASoG's sheital heads. The result of my 2-minute arts and craft project was this:

Voila!(Sorry for the picture quality - it's from my cell phone).

Upon my return, ASoG asked what took so long - and I joked about having dropped the sheitals and needing to rearrange them.

That has actually happened before during one particularly rushed Friday afternoon when I was bringing all of our packed Shabbos belongings, including her sheital head, by myself to meet our ride who subsequently picked up ASoG at a different location.

Back on topic, ASoG could tell I was joking, but she had no clue what to expect when we got back to our apartment. Granted, her discovery of the mustachioed sheital heads was funnier for me than her, but it was totally worth the time and effort (at least in my view).

So there you have it, a fun sheital joke/arts and craft project that could be done by any husband out there. Has anyone else messed around with their wife's sheital head? If anyone decides to try this out, please let me know the results in a comment.


  1. Lol. My little bro once colored in my moms shaitel head. My dad woke up in middle of the night, and saw this face staring at him. Freaked the living day lights outta him!

  2. Hilarious AND easy to do. Awesome.

  3. When I was young I used to like sticking pins in the eyes of my mother's sheitel heads. This disturbed her and I didn't understand why. I grew up normal, though. I think.


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